i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
