I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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