How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
