Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize