Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
