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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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