I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.