He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will