I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize