lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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