Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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