Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Randomize