just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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