she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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