carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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