I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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