I queefed so loud it echoed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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