Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
