very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize