Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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