As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
