I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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