It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.