I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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