your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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