I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
