tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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