Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.