it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this must be what syphilis tastes like
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!