Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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