I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap