dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.