Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize