I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize