At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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