Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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