This beer is not sobering me up at all
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
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Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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