we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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