he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
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Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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