oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
