then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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