I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
