Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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