Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
