Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.