you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet