so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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The beer is more important than you right now.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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What a dumb baby whore.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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