We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
