I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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