i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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