Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize