Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No subtext here. People are naked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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