theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
